deida first part

In our new world, a man’s presence—his depth of awareness—is his most valuable asset.

A man’s worth can be found in his depth of being.

The “mission” or the search for freedom is the priority of the masculine, whereas the search for love is the priority of the feminine.

The feminine wants to be filled with love, and if the bliss of real love is not forthcoming, chocolate and ice cream—or a good romantic drama—will do. The masculine wants to feel the bliss of a life lived at the edge, and if he doesn’t have the balls to do it himself, he’ll watch it on TV, in sporting events and cop shows.

Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease, or women. Feel what you want to give most as a gift, to your woman and to the world, and do what you can to give it today. Every moment waited is a moment wasted, and each wasted moment degrades your clarity of purpose.

1. He should learn to stay in the wound of pain and act with spontaneous skill and love even from that place.

Contracted and closed in on yourself, you are unable to act. You are trapped in your own self-protective tension, no longer a free man.

KNOW YOUR REAL EDGE AND DON’T FAKE IT

If you were absolutely fearless, would you be earning a living in exactly the same way as you are now? Your edge is where you stop short, or where you compromise your fullest gift, and, instead, cater to your fears.

ALWAYS HOLD TO YOUR DEEPEST REALIZATION

This source is never changing and always present. It is the constant, silent tone behind and pervading the music of life. Feel into this source as deeply as possible, and then re-approach your work, intimacy, family, and creative efforts.

However, if you give up your real decision to follow your woman’s, then you will blame her for being wrong if she is wrong, and you will feel disempowered if she is right, having denied yourself the opportunity to act from your core and grow from your mistakes.

YOUR PURPOSE MUST COME BEFORE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

LEAN JUST BEYOND YOUR EDGE

Your fear is the sharpest definition of your self. You should know it. You should feel it virtually constantly.

DO IT FOR LOVE

The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth.

But if you are willing to discover and embrace your truth, lean through your fears, and give everything you’ve got, you can penetrate the world and your woman from the core of your being and bloom them into love without limit.

Neither woman nor world can be second-guessed, or fooled. They know when you are just dicking around. They want to receive you for real.

There are two ways to deal with woman and world without compromising your true gifts or dribbling away the force of your deep being. One way is to renounce sexual intimacy and worldliness, totally dedicating yourself without distraction or compromise to the path you choose to pursue, free of the seemingly constant demands of woman and world. The other way is to “*****” both to smithereens, to ravish them with your love unsheathed, to give your true gifts despite the constant tussle of woman and world, to smelt your authentic gifts in this friction of opposition and surrender, to thrust love from the freedom of your deep being even as your body and mind die blissfully through a crucifixion of inevitable pleasure and pain, attraction and repulsion, gain and loss. No gifts left ungiven. No limit to the depth of being. Only openness, freedom, and love as the legacy of your intercourse with woman and world.

You can be a renunciate and live alone, apart from woman and world. But if you choose a life of sexual and worldly intercourse, you will feel trapped by woman and world unless you are free in the midst of “true *****,” yielding yourself into the giving, holding nothing back, dissolving all time in the open of love. Through thick and thin, this is the way of the superior man.

ENJOY YOUR FRIENDS’ CRITICISM

IF YOU DON’T KNOW YOUR PURPOSE, DISCOVER IT, NOW

T he core of your life is your purpose. Everything in your life, from your diet to your career, must be aligned with your purpose if you are to act with coherence and integrity in the world. If you know your purpose, your deepest desire, then the secret of success is to discipline your life so that you support your deepest purpose and minimize distractions and detours.

But if you don’t know your DEEPEST DESIRE, then you can’t align your life to it. Everything in your life is dissociated from your core.

BE WILLING TO CHANGE EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE

A s you open yourself to living at your edge, your deepest purpose will slowly begin to make itself known. In the meantime, you will experience layer after layer of purposes, each one getting closer and closer to the fullness of your deepest purpose. It is as if your deepest purpose is at the center of your being, and it is surrounded by layers of concentric circles, each circle being a lesser purpose. Your life consists of penetrating each circle, from the outside toward the center.

You probably need to burn off the karma, or fulfill the need, of the present purpose by which you are fascinated and distracted. It’s easy to feel disappointed by life; success is never as fulfilling as you think it is going to be. But there is a reason for this. Successfully completing a lesser purpose doesn’t feel very good for very long, because it is simply preparation for advancing toward a greater embodiment of your deeper purpose.

Each purpose, each mission, is meant to be fully lived to the point where it becomes empty, boring, and useless. Then it should be discarded. This is a sign of growth, but you may mistake it for a sign of failure.

You know that the old project is over for you, but you are not sure of what is next. At this point, you must wait for a vision. There is no way to rush this process. You may need to get an intermediary job to hold you over until the next layer of purpose makes itself clear. Or, perhaps you have enough money to simply wait. But in any case, it is important to open yourself to a vision of what is next. You stay open to a vision of your deeper purpose by not filling your time with distractions.

DON’T USE YOUR FAMILY AS AN EXCUSE

T ake care of the children and the house as much as you want. Just remember that if you give up your true purpose to do so for too long, you are not really helping anyone.

Try as you might, once you have negated your own deep purpose, yourhousehold will become a place where everybody tests your capacity to stand your ground, and you will lose.

What is your deepest life purpose? For some men, their deepest life purpose is their family. If you are one of these men, then you probably aren’t concerned about the issue of whether or not you are using your family as an excuse. Many men, however, regardless of how much they love their family, also feel a deeper calling. If they do not live true to this calling, then their core weakens, even if they genuinely love and desire to serve their family.